Stop treating 30 like it is a destination
This post is for those who are in their late twenties or who have turned 30, who are worried about entering a new decade of their life. Stop treating 30 like it is a destination - it's only a stop along the way.
Turning 30 hit me in a very different way to what is perhaps expected. My worries haven't been about my looks or my physique. Nor have they been about not having started a family yet.
Let me explain.
I left home when I was 15, in order to to look for new opportunities and get the chance to rescue my family. So, deep down, I don't want to have children if I'm not able to provide for them. I wouldn't want them to have to leave home at the age I did - basically, I don't want history to repeat itself.
For many years, since I was a kid, I struggled with body image. But now, I have finally learnt to love, respect and look after my body - so, my confidence in the way I look is the best it has ever been.
But, this doesn't mean I've not had a "mid-life" crisis. For the past 3 years, I’ve been on a big journey to build my business - where I've worked like crazy, spent thousands of hours studying different courses and huge amounts of energy on building a brand. In the process, I ended up forgetting the reasons why I actually moved to London: the opportunities that the city presents, the clubs, shows, gigs on offer and, in particular, the chance to meet people from all over the world.
In the past three weeks, I have reflected so much on my life and done a much-needed clearing out - of old memories as well as of clutter in my flat from the last 10 years (including all the clothes that I don’t wear and no longer need). It's given me the best feeling: one of a restart, not only for a new month, but for a new season - after all, 2019 is not finished yet!
My "mid-life" crisis was resolved as I learnt to focus on the process rather than the outcome. Put simply, I started to enjoy living in the now instead of worrying about the future. Happiness, success and achievement are as we determine them to be.
I only realised this when I let go of others’ expectations, many of which existed only in my head. Of course, the issue of having children remains a conundrum for all women as they get older – once I find a way to slow down biology, I’ll be sure to share that too!
But in our 30s, we have the power to live in the present. And I love it - if I want to book a last minute trip to see a loved one (or my favourite DJ Pryda), I can!
Ultimately, I believe that we need to take the pressure off ourselves and remember that life is not a box-ticking exercise. It’s time to re-think what success really is - it's not about tangible achievements or relationship milestones, but simple happiness and having fun.